I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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