i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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