the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
pray to the hookup gods
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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