I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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