Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
