goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
