you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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