drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
