If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
