Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just cut my nipple shaving
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
