god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
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she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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