Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
