that's an acceptable place to lick
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This couple is walking their pig around campus
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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