Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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