idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
