they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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