I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Of course I have a pirate flag
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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