Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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