Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
