hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
