A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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