its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She's the barista slut.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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