I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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