I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
this just has baby written all over it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
