This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
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I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
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and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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