Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i out mim tonsoeep
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