Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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