we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He better not be in your backpack
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
