he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
