i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
