Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
