he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
