I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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