so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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