therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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