If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize