dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
