right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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