I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
