my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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