do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
