i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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