she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
