Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
