at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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