so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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