We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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