he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
