Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
