i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
