She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
