Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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