I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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