After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
