Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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