U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Who did Billy Mays play for?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
