And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
