You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
