I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
