we're blogging at a bar
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize