I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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