Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
