I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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