I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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