Where did you get a picture of my penis
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
