The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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