also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
