He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
