So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
