her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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